so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
