it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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