apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
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do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
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I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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