# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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