can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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