he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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