The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
