Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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