I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
