i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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