I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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