I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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