ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
