This is not my ceiling
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I touched a dick in church today
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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