At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
