i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Randomize
