i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
