Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
