ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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