dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
