you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
