no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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