i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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