capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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