just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
