covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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