He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
