Dual....:-)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
