So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
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There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
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BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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