we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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