He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
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i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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