Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
