If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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