Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
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you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
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I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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