if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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