I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
