Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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