I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
