what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I think I am morally bankrupt
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
