there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize