PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
