Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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