She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
