and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
