Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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