the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize