the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
