Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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