fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
