You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
