so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
