my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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