Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Text me some of your sweat
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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