you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
