I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
