NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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