but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
