why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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