i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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