Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
