it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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