Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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