I need help removing her.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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