so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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