Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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