i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
