How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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