I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
