just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
