And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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