I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
