I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
