so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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