I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I would ride that face into the sunset
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
